I love my friends, but…

by K

I love my friends, but they are so damn hard to plan anything with. I mean, really, how hard is it to say “Yes. I can do that.” or “Yes. I’d love to come for dinner.” or “No, I’m sorry but I can’t come.” Very hard. Apparently.

I know that some of them don’t know their work schedule very far ahead of time. But still, they could say “I’d love to. I let you know on (day X) once I get my work schedule.” And then get back to me on day X.

I know that sometimes people need to check their schedule or check with their significant others. But couldn’t they say “I’d love to, let me check my schedule.” Then get back to me later that day or the next day.

Do I expect too much?

Is it too much to ask for a commitment?

When people don’t get back to me, I feel so fucking unappreciated. Don’t I deserve the courtesy of a response? All I’m asking for is a yes or no answer. I’d really like to know how much food I need to buy for a dinner party. Or how much wine to get for a wine tasting.

I don’t mind if you say no. That’s totally ok with me. Maybe you are busy. Maybe you just want a quiet night. Maybe your just not interested in that activity or event. That’s fine. But please get back to me and say “Thanks for the invite, but I won’t be able to make it.”

And when you say “Yes, I’ll be there” please be there. I don’t like last-minute cancellations. For one, they make me feel rather worthless… that something came up that’s more important than me. (Ok, I understand that there are sometimes urgent matters that do come up. Like your mother dying or you puking your guts out). But more importantly (to me anyways) is that you, my friend, just lost a little bit of my respect. You lost your credibility. How can I know that you will follow through on the next thing you “commit” to?  How can I trust you?

Maybe my respect doesn’t mean that much to you. Maybe you don’t really want to be my friend. That’s ok. I don’t mind. But please be honest with me.